MY HIDDEN FEARS

About two weeks ago, Hamas kidnapped an Israeli soldier.

For this cause alone, the world has changed. Many people will wake up today and follow their regular routine: perhaps, the gym first, then work, then some socializing, then some sleep. Very few people will know, nor care, that Israel went to war today.

Indeed, Israel is at war and the Middle East is in turmoil. While we slept here in the Americas, the Hezbollah guerrillas fired rockets into Northern Israel from Lebanon. To add insult to injury, the Hezbollah kidnapped two Israeli soldiers and killed seven others. The Hezbollah were apparently unprovoked. During the day, while we slept here, Israel blew out the airport in Beirut, Lebanon in reaction to the Hezbollah attacks.

Coupled with the raucous raised by the Hezbollah, Israel is also fighting Hamas and the Islamic Jihad militants in Gaza. CNN describes Gaza in very dire tones indeed and declares that the present carnage is worse than anything the Strip has seen in 15 years. That is saying a lot. So, Israel is at war on two fronts: along its borders with Lebanon and with the Palestinians in Gaza.

I am really not sure why Israel's business concerns me. However, I do know a number of things. One of them is that I do not want to see an escalation of violence in the Middle East. In fact, I do not want to see any violence there although to hope for this will be like Waiting for Godot. Every time I hear of suicide bombers in Gaza or Israel, it worries me.

To be sure, I believe that the Palestinians should be free to govern themselves in the most sovereign way that the law of society allows. I believe also that the Palestinians have a duty to complete a peaceful disengagement from Israeli control. The suicide bombs, the mortar shells, IEDs and cross-border rocket attacks are unconscionable regardless of the strength of the supporting argument.

Last night, I listened to the Israeli P.M. Ehud Olmert speaking about the goings-on in his territory. He said that the there were those who wish "to test their (the Israelis) resolve". I have encountered this phrase before. Most times, it has been the prelude to bloodshed and grave loss.

I have no doubt that this will be the case again.

Now is a good time to pray for peace.

MY FIRST WEEK!


Wow! Hasn't this been an interesting week!

As you might know, I moved to Houston last week to work as a Summer Associate at a law firm. I would love to write about how I got here sometimes, but each time I start to write, I find myself rambling, bringing out so many issues that I cannot fully address. So, I crave your indulgence to postpone that story a little further.

Well, my first day at work comprised of a series of training sessions. Apparently, you cannot just pop in and start researching and writing Memos. I learn that I have sponsors - in my section, in the recruitment committee (and in some other places I neither comprehend nor recall). I learn how to keep record of my time - in tenths, or quarters, of an hour, depending on the eccentricity of my client. I learn how to work my phone, fax, printers, laptop, blackberry (!) etc. By the way, a partner thought it would be remiss if she did not leave me some work to wrap my mind around on my first day - even though she is in Scotland! It is the introduction to very interesting times.

Generally, everyday, someone pays for my lunch - attorney employment office, my section sponsor or just someone in my section. It seems like the partners have schedules to take the Summers to lunch. I've already had some very interesting lunches. And I have met some pretty awesome people. For the hours, the pay, the camaraderie, this job might be one of my best ever. I am savoring the moments, of course.

One thing has been remarkable though. I've often found myself looking at my surreal surroundings: the places I've gone to eat, the people who ask for my time, the people who have been pleased to hear my opinions. Looking around me, I have rarely seen black faces. Too many times, I have been the only black person in the room; perhaps, the only black person in the building. The color of my company has often been emblematic of the sophistication of my surroundings. Unfortunate, but true. Fortunately, though, color is neither an issue that I propagate nor police. Inevitably, favor has drawn its face in sophistication and favor stands before me and behind me…continuously.

This reminds me of a few weeks ago in the shower and a lesson about fortune. I had just spoken to one of my favorite people in Nigeria and she was worried about the future - something that characterizes most of my contemporaries. I had these same thoughts and worries not too long ago. And while regaling in the escape that only running water can bring, I found this moral from my times. With all the things that could go wrong - me, a minority, with a very fragile physical presence, from a much-vilified country, from an unfavorably ranked school, with absolutely no influences or connections home or abroad, living in one of the smallest cities, an orphan - good fortune still found a way to my doorstep.

Perhaps, you are facing challenging times. We always think that no one is in such a quagmire as we are. We have every reason to believe that things will go wrong. I have these quagmires; I give myself these reasons too. Yet, regardless of the odds, and sometimes in the face of my utter lack of faith, good fortune found me. My circumstances have been more than ordinary but I doubt that they've been peculiar.

JFK said, "Let us not pray for easier times; let us pray to be stronger men".

I only pray that you find the strength to believe in yourself.

Fortune and favor will find you too.

New City; New Work.


New cities are interesting.

As you might know, I've just moved to Houston for the summer, coming from remote Lagos, Nigeria and then, Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Houston, Texas is a new world all by itself.

I live in the Downtown area. Skyscrapers surround me daily. As I walk along the cobbled streets, I try not to stare too high up at the buildings otherwise, everyone will soon know that I'm new to the city. It's a little dazing to stare too. Yet, I am amazed at how the constructors were able to build such tall structures so close beside each other. Architecture has long amazed me anyways. I live close by the Enron Building, the Regent Hyatt, the Shell towers, the Kellogg-Brown-Root towers…I could go on and on.

My office is in the First City Tower Building which is a walk away from where I live. I like that. It means that I never have to worry too much about getting to work or getting back home. Even in the rainy weather, any punishment I receive from the skies will certainly be less than what I endured on some days in Lagos. My office is on the 19th fl. I have never had an office this high up; but, that is not saying much since I have not had that many offices anyway! However, looking out my windows makes me think of 9/11. I remember seeing pictures of people jumping out of the world trade center. Hmm,…for a rational man (or woman) to jump out of any storey higher than where I am now (the 19th) believing that greater hope lay in the jump than within the confines of the crumbling tower tells me that the building must have been imperiled far beyond my imagination. The decision to jump would literally involve taking your life into your own hands (or legs!!).

Well, my office has not waited for me to settle in order to find some serious work for my hands. So this typing is a luxury that I cannot truly afford. Considering that U.S. tax is my thing, my learning curve is steeper than I can begin to explain….I'm sure you will understand that I cannot tell you every detail going forward…yet, I shall try.

However, this is my new life, with a new job, in a new city. For these things, I am more than grateful to the Eternal Ones.

Work begins...it is why I am here.